Narrator: When faced with the mundane occurrences which mark our day to day lives, the tales of myth and legend seem far off and well removed from our daily activities. How romantic and vivid are the stories of Odysseus and the epic return journey. Upon closer inspection of our lives we realize that this separation of myth and reality may not be as great of a divide as first thought. Thin is the veil which limits our perception of reality. Upon closer inspection we find that the divine is often found in the most mundane of details and it is only through the unskilled eye that such observances are ignorantly ignored. Join me if you will…and feed your voyeuristic tendencies as we watch together an ordinary day in the life of John….
John is a typical college student. Bound by the responsibility of juggling aspects of the domestic, the scholastic, and the social realms are all a part of a reality everyone in this room can relate to.
Behold John and the barbarians……
Characters in scene 1:
Protaganist: John.
Room-mate 1: Lanette
Room-mate 2: Sarah
Room-mate 1: Yo, bro, pass the nug-master.
Room-mate 2: Chaaaa…let me pack it first.
*Room-mate 2 presses his thumb against the inside of the bowl simulating the act of packing a bowl.
Rom-mate 2: Dude, This bud I got from that dude that came over last night, won the rasta-cup in Missoula.
*Room-mate 2 pretends to take a hit, and then passes the bowl over. Room-mate 1 looks at the bowl, and then says:
Room-mate 1: Damn dude, this bud really won the Rasta-cup; what is it called.
Room-mate 2: It’s a chronic heady kush-master crossed with a nebula Ak47 haze. Also…get this bro: that dude that came over last night said it is a real heavy indica…with extreme couch lock.
Room-mate 1: I’ll say…after last night bro, I think I am just gonna kick it all day on the couch and do nothing.
*Room-mate 1 takes a hit and then says:
That party last night was just too sick bro—I drank like 45 shots of yaeger.
*Room-mate 2 motions his hand to the pizza box to see if there is any left. He accidently knocks over a beer, and spills it all over the protagonist copy of Ovid.
Room-mate 2: Oops, Will is gonna be pissed. But anyway, dude, there is no way you drank 45 shots, you proably had like 32.
*Protaganist enters the rooms, walks over to where his room-mates are sitting, looks down at his book, looks at the audience, and then a scowl erupts on his face.
Protaganist: Barbarians!
Room-mate 2: Barbarawhat? Will, is that the name of your caregiver?
*Room-mate 2 taps room-mate 1 on the shoulder
Room-mate 2: Bro, have you got your green card yet.
Room-mate 1: Yep, I got it on Tuesday.
*The protagonist picks up his book and says:
Protaganist: not only did you guys keep me up all night, you ruined my book.
*the protagonist clenches his Ovid, and then tosses it on the ground in a fit of rage.
Protaganist: God, don’t you guys have anything to do—like maybe cleaning shit-hole up.
Room-mate 1: Dude, you should just relax and have some of this chronic heady kush master.
*Room-mate one tries to hand him the bowl, but the protangainst declines
Room-mate 2: Dude, don’t forget the most important part: it’s crossed with a nebula Ak47 haze.
Room-mate 1: Chaaa.
*protagonist slaps his forward and then looks at his room-mates and loudly states:
Protaganists: How Could I Possibly Relax When I have been living with philistines for the past year? God, you barbarians probably don’t even know the meaning of that word—philistine.
Room-mate 1: dude, just chill out, drink a bro-ski, and smoke a bowl.
Room-mate 2: Yeah dude, don’t lose it over a book. Like dude-bro, you should be out there anyway, living life—like us.
*Room-mate 2 grabs a can of beer, takes a sip, and then says:
Room-mate 2: You read too much anyway bro…awwww gnarly: I think there is a cigarette butt in this beer from last night.
*The protagonist receives a text message in his pocket. He walks away so he can go check it in private.
Room-mate 1: Bro just walked away.
Room-mate 2: Dude, I think he got a text from that chick in his class. I am pretty sure her name is molly.
Protaganist: I am going on a walk to clear my head. See you guys later.
Room-mate 1: Where are you walking to?
Protaganist: Downtown.
End of Scene
Narrator: After a fierce altercation with the barbarians, John is left to find solace in the refuge of his own thoughts as he travels the cold snow packed streets of Bozeman on this cold November. Distracted by thoughts of love and war...John, our humble college student stumbles across one of the many victims of today’s current economic climate. Let’s see what misdeeds might unfold.
Characters in scene 2:
Protaganist: John
Old Woman: Lannette
*The protagonist looks down at his phone, and then reads the text message he received at his apartment out-loud to the audience.
Protaganist: Hmm…they would have probably grabbed this from me if I had stayed longer. She says: studying for the Mythologies mid-term has been brutal. I will wait another fifteen minutes before I text back—act like I don’t even like her—that is how you win them.
*Protaganist returns to walking and his inner-monlogue returns
Protaganist: Wilson used books—now a dispensary, what a shame. Peculiar, always seems like you are in a bigger city than you are when looking at the Baxter.
*Protaganist stares at the Baxter for a moment. Enter Lannette as a homeless person
Homeless Lady: Please, young man…could you find it in your heart to spare some change. I have traveled to this town from far away, and I have not had a single bite to eat since I got here. Please, a god will bless your kind deed.
*Protaganist looks down her, tries to ignore her, and the mutters:
Protaganist: Agenbite of inwit.
Homeless lady: Young-man, I know you are repulsed by my face…but you should not let outward appearances impede visions of true beauty.
*Protaganist walks away and then mutters this statement:
Protaganist: God, I guess the town just hasn’t had time to ship the bums off to billings yet.
*After muttering this statement Lannette unveils her true identity—she is a god.
Goddess: You will regret the choice you made.
*Protaganist continues to walk away from the homeless person, and then he slips on a pomegranate.
Protaganist: My, I almost became another shade in Pluto’s realm. Well, onward…there, my destintion, Vargo’s, finally.
Narrator: It is easy for everyone of you sit back and judge the sanity of such a destitute fellow. Are you so quick to dismiss the very face of a god when ones graces our very existence! What would you do in such a situation…….
End of Scene
Narrator: After quite some time of battling barbarous hordes, facing inclement weather, and looking upon the very face of a God, John finds himself in the warm comfortable climate of Vargo’s Bookstore. Come with me once more and lets see what our new friend has instore.,,,,,,
Characters in scene 3:
Protagnist: John
Old Bookshop owner: Sarah
*protagonist walks toward the podium, and continues to mumble to himself he also looks at his phone several times.
Hmm…questioning oneself is essential, yet how, and to what extent. Am I in love, am I not love?
*Protagonist points and list off the different section of books.
Protagonist: Let’s see: self-help, self-reliance, self-Esteem, psychology, cooking, music, jazz, fiction, non-fiction…aww…here, poetry.
*Protagonist opens the metamorphoses and reads the opening lines:
Protaganist: “my soul would sing of Metemorphoses./ But since, o gods, you were the source of these/ bodies”…uhhh: I don’t think I can bear any more of Ovid.
*Protagonist but the book back down looks at his phone and begins typing. While the protagonist is typing the old bookstore enters.
Protagonist: alright be smooth: yeah that myth class has been hard…um let’s see: she knows I take good notes, and she know that I have kept up with the reading…would you like to get together sometime to study…I think that was smooth—molly is just such a pretty name.
Old Bookstore owner: Ahem.
Protagonist: Huh, o, hey. I didn’t see you behind me.
Old Bookstore owner: Young man, why would you put Ovid back on a shelf, when you looked so intent on buying it?
Protagonist: Well, I was intent on buying it when I came in—my copy at home was damaged this morning by my room-mates—but now I just don’t know if I really need it. I mean, there are free cliffs notes on line, and it is only for a class.
*Old bookstore owner stomps her foot as she says this.
Old Bookstore owner: Hmmm…well, that, to me, is just a terrible excuse. Why would you not want to own one of the most important literary works of all time? It is for a class you say. It is not for personal pleasure. Consider yourself lucky that you have the ability to work with such pleasurable material. There are no boring books, just boring people. Are you a boring person, do you know boring people?
Protagonist: No, I am not a boring person!
Old Bookstore owner: Why did you put the book back on the shelf then?
Protagonist: I, I, I don’t know. I guess I have just been dissolusioned by literature recently.
Old Bookstore owner: well, would you rather have that girl on the other end of the phone think you a simpleton, or a poet.
Protagonist: I’ll take the book.
Old Bookstore owner: wise decision. And here, *The old bookstore owner hands the protagonist a book mark, think of this bookmark as a lucky talisman: there some fine quotes on it lead out of many tricky situations.
Protagonist: Thank you, I appreciate it.
*protagonist motions for his wallet and then bookstore owner says:
Bookstore owner: Think of it as a gift from me your lucky hermes. Also, remember this before you leave my store, books give life meaning—cease feeling like they are a burden. O, and one more thing, don’t let jealousy like Cephalus’s, get the best of you.
*Protagonist walks out—the scene ends.
End of Scene
Narrator: Graced with gift of mystic insight even John cannot fully anticipate what horrific challenges lay in wait mere blocks down the street. Epic challenges of want and desire…..Can he abstain from such devous temptations or will he succumb to temptation….
Characters in the scene:
Protagonist: John
Siren 1: Erin
Siren 2: Melody
Cyclops: Steven
Bartender: Sarah
*The Cyclops flex’s his muscles in front of the semi intreasted vixens. He is captivated by them, he Is particualry entranced by their dancing and singing. He orders a shot of vodka from the bartender slams it down and says
Cyclops: Yeah, a lot of girls say I look like Ronny from the shore. I mean, to keep this look, I have to start the day out with a protean shake…then I lift some weights…and then I go tanning for about 5 hours. The guys at the 9, well…they say I could be a bouncer one day if I keep lifting.
Siren 1: That’s hot.
Siren 2: Yeah, that’s really hot. I love it when a guy is into muscles.
Siren 1: Yeah, muscles are hot.
Cyclops: To keep this look gal’s…costs a pretty penny. I sell Kirby vacuums to fund the cost of tanning.
Siren 1: Wow, you must be rich.
*The Cyclops kisses both of his biceps, and then says:
Cyclops: Rich, buff—and as handsome as the situation…what more could anyone want.
*The protagonist walks up to the bar and says:
Protagonist: I saw that you had a beer and burger special for 6.95, is that still available?
Bartender: ended an hour ago kid.
Protagonist: I will have a Coldsmoke then.
*The sirens scurry away from the podium, they whisper loud enough so that the audience can here:
Siren 1: That guy that walked in is sooo much hotter than muscles.
Siren 2: Yeah, we should go talk to him.
*They walk over to the bar, position themselves close to the protagonist , and then begin to make flirtations comments and gestures.
Siren 1: I heard that you like burgers, too bad they stoped surveying them. I like mine with jalapano’s, it makes them hot.
Siren 2: We like really hot things.
Siren 1: Yeah, especially in the winter.
Protagonist: Yeah…I suppose one can’t do without warmth in the winter.
*Protaganist looks over at the audience, shakes his head, and then says:
Protaganist: The crystal.
*suddenly, Lady Gaga’s alejandro erupts
Siren 1: Omg, it’s my song.
Siren 2: No, it’s our song
*The sirens lip sing to the music, dance a tempteous dance, while giving inviting gesture’s to the protagonist.
Narrator: Barely escaping with his life and chastity in tack John has just now evaded trouble….Yet how does the old adage go….Out of the frying pan and into the fire……
Cyclops: Hey, they were all over my guns a second ago.
*Cyclops walks over to where they are dancing and then says:
Cyclops: Girls, I forgot to tell you that I am training for the UFC as well.
*Sirens continue to dance and sing along.
Protagonist: My, they do look beautiful. And that song, that angelic song is enough to push a man into their arms.
*Bzzzz, the protagonist gets a text from Molly, and then reads it out loud.
Protagonist: she says: we should totally get together, and study some time. I am done with these voluptuous masters of seduction. And, enough of the: I don’t even care persona with molly—what would a poet say?
*The Protagonist looks down at the bookmark, and then reads one of the quotes on it aloud:
Protagnist: Glowing wine on his palate lingered swallowed. Crushing in the winepress grapes of Burgundy. Sun's heat it is. Seems to a secret touch telling me memory. Touched his sense moistened remembered. Hidden under wild ferns on Howth. Below us bay sleeping sky. No sound. The sky. The bay purple by the Lion's head. Green by Drumleck. Yellowgreen towards Sutton. Fields of undersea, the lines faint brown in grass, buried cities. Pillowed on my coat she had her hair, earwigs In the heather scrub my hand under her nape, you'll toss me all. O wonder!
Protagonist: I will have a glass of wine.
Bartender: sure thing Bub.
Protagonist: I will say to her: it’s too bad it is winter, I love studying in the mountains when the wildflowers are in bloom.
Cyclops: What a queer, who orders wine.
Siren 1: Hot guys.
Cyclops: you thinkThis puny loser hot. If he were a man he would have orded a yaeger bomb.
*Cyclops goes up grabs his shoulder and then says
Cyclops: he man, no one drinks wine at this bar. You better pour it out, and step away from my girls before something bad happens.
Protagonist: Something bad like what. Doctor Swift says one man in armour will beat ten men in their shirts. Shirt is synechdoche. Part for the whole.
Cyclops: what?
Protagonist: I will meet you outside my name is no-man. Woo man, one of your eyes is really irritated you should check that out—these girls have been saying so, but I hadn’t noticed until just now.
*The Cyclops rushes off, and the protagonist rushes away. He comes out of the bathroom looking for the protagonist and says:
Cyclops: where is No-man
Siren 1: No-man, who is no man.
Siren 2: He is just being an idiot.
Scene Ends:
Once tempted by Harpies and conquering the mighty Cyclops John has gained the dignity and insight to return to the marauding masses……
*John is walking back to his house alone and then he gets a text from molly, he jumps up in joy:
Protagonist: she says: I was just thinking, that we should maybe go get a bite to eat sometime. PS: I love spring flowers in the mountains.
*Protagonist looks down at the talisman and reads:
Protagonist: And all shall be well and/ and all manner of things shall be well
Protagonist: I suppose I should go help those guys clean up.
Narrator: You as a captive audience have witnessed first hand how Love, Temperance, and Strength have aided John in his travels. The divine and the mundane are inner woven into the very fabric of our existence. Look out because mythic battle and epic adventures surround you daily. You just need to notice……..
End
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